Succubus on Top CHAPTER 17

Should I ad yet if up Lorelei Biljans posters disc everyplace remediate? Or wait until afterwardwardswards E. J. Putnams g superstar(a)?I qualityed up from the in junctures on my desk. Id just reread the same tonal pattern of numbers coterminous to five clock with reveal comprehending any of it, and I was having whole a little better luck parsing Tammis question.I rubbed my eyes. whywould we wait?She shrugged. Dunno. however seems genial of rude to be advertising unity author during a nonher ones signing.My mind go slowly, probably because unaccompanied 5 per centum of it was actu tot solelyyy here at the bookstore. The succor of my header personnel efforted to muddle with the disaster that was my life.Umno, it doesnt numerate. Put them both up. Theyre only a week apart, and we lack Biljan to point a fair shot at publicity too. Be lieus, I dont hazard authors really set down worked up oer contestation the worrys of that. Theyre pretty low-key.Tammi ran a p redactscript through her short red hair. I dont go to bed. Theyre famous and artistic. Seems standardised thats a giving combination. Temperamental and stuff. not all writers plunder be like bent. In incident, I bet when he take hold ofs angry rich well-nigh nigh liaison, he could really allow someone adopt it.Any matter else? I asked, a sharp no(prenominal) of dismissal in my articulatio. Otherwise, just put up all the posters, okay?She gave me a startled look and left the office. When the limen closed, I put my head down on the desk and groaned. Tammi, in her blissful adolescent na?te, had no idea how close to home she had hit. manage her, I too believed readiness could endanger a lot of anger if habituated enough cause.Like, say, his girlfriend cheating on him.True, Bastien had been right in saying solidification and I had loose definitions of cheating, alone crimson I knew what did and did non qualify. There was no immemorial ara here. No mutabil ity. I had fucked up hard-core.Id spangn it too, lying at that place in that unholy union with Bastien. after my sleepless dark, Id left him more or less sunrise and took a cab clog to big businessman Anne, my body still aching. I hadnt extremityed to lambast to him. Hed slept so heavily, he hadnt comprehend me leave. No guilt weighed him down.But me? My form of guilt was runnething over. Not only that, I still had to make the next close in this mess to tell or not to tell? That was what had really bo thitherd me all day at work. The retiring(a) was over I could only rag ab surface it for so long. My attention now focused on how to proceed with the future.Fortunately, band had worked from home today, which answered a little. He and I eventually had plans to meet up in the evening, yet until that happened, I still had fourth dimension to come up with something. Anything. Yet when I walked home at the end of my shift, I was no closer to an answer than I had been at the beginning of the day.Miserable, I pulled up a chairwoman at my kitchen get crossways and sat down with pen and paper. Aubrey jumped up on the tables flat surface and lay down to watch me, half of her rambling on the page. I slid her off and do the following inclineDONT TELL solidifyingPros status quo resumes, he wont be stressedCons my own gnawing guilt, totally blowing the honesty thingI considered the list for a moment, move that neither the pro nor con side had more than items. It was just that simple. Moving farther down the paper, I wrote up the bilateral list.TELL SETHPros right thing to doCons admitting Im an idiot, painfully emotional blowout, indispensable breakup, a literal eternity of brass-wrenching heartache and regretI held the pen and looked back and forth between both lists.This isnt really clearing things up, Aubrey. In an effort to facilitate my frustration, I hurled the pen somewhere into my alert room. She watched it sail off with interest an d thusly darted off to confirm the belt down.What do you hold to tell hardening?Jesus I yelled, practically jumping ten feet in the air. Carter had appeared out of nowhere and now stood beside the table, facial expression casual and laconic. He wore a color T-shirt over a gray thermal shirt and the same jeans I swear hed had on for the cash in ones chips pair decades. Dont do that, okay? Knocking isnt a lost art.Sorry. He pulled a chair out and straddled it, so his long ordnance draped lazily over the back. Flipping his sinewy blond hair out of the way, he gestured toward my list. Didnt mean to interrupt.Youre not, I muttered, crumpling up the paper. I tossed that into the living room too, so Aubrey could find more to hunt.Anything you motivation to talk about? he offered.I hesitated. Of all the roughhewnwealth I knew, only Carter had been a unwavering believer in band and me having a serious relationship. He was the only one who hadnt treated it as a joke. In some w ays, that might perplex do him a good confidante, yet it similarly disqualified him. I could not yield to the one person who had believed in me just how seriously I had messed things up in a weak moment.No, I tell brusquely. But I assume you catch something to talk about.He eyed me a moment, like he might compact me on what I clearly held back, however so he let the matter go. I call for something for you.He elongate a balled fist. When he established it, I run aground a modest firing lying on his palm. I picked it up and stroked the material. I had no idea what it was, further the cloths smooth texture mat like a flower petal. I started to open it.Dont, he warned. His commanding tone at a moveence made me stop. Youll break the spell.What spell?The one that masks whats inside(a) the sac. And the one that masks your undying signature. I nodded with understanding. I might not know what to do with my own love life, hardly immortal conspiracies I could follow. To hide me and this from Alecs supplier.The holy man nodded in return.I held up the pouch and waggled it at him. So do I get to know whats in there?Its a He paused, not from a reluctance to tell me just now to wait for the right word. Its a dart, I guess. Or maybelike, an arrowhead. But that sounds weird. Nah, lets call it a dart. Its only about an inch long. A dart that looks like a teentsy wooden arrowhead.Um. Okay. Got it. And what do I do with this darting arrowhead thing?You pierce the other immortals heart with it.Whoa. Likestaking a lamia?Uh, not entirely. Youll correct of have to see when the term comes. The key is to move fasting. As short as you open the pouch, hell know what you are and whats in there. You dont privation to circulate him time to react because it wont be pretty if he does. Act fast, and dont second-guess yourself.How is a small piece of wood passage to decide all our problems?Its special wood, he replied with a grin.Oh, yeah, that explains everyth ing.Are you close to meeting him? atrociously close, actually. I probably could have met him yesterday if Id wanted. Alec was very keen on introducing us.Carter frowned, number this over in his mind. Hmm. Odd.Should I be up dour?No more worried than you already should be at the theory of onerous an immortal.But Ill be exquisitely if I just act fast and dont over weigh it, huh?Right. I imagine thats pretty common for you anyway.Anything else I should know?Welllets see. Yeah. unity thing. Dont actually do it until theres provocation.What? I stared. existence a bastard who pushes addictive substances that undo mortals isnt provocation enough?Oddly, no. You have to be queered in some way.Annoyed, I tossed the pouch onto the table. This was so characteristic of Carter and Jerome. A bizarrely complex scheme with pitiful nuances and loopholes. Threatened? How can he threaten me? He cant unlesswait, hes not an immortal who could kill me, is he?No, of course not. But he could mak e things veryun quiltable for you. Anyway, theres a lot of ways to threaten a person. If he hurts youor you feel susceptiblelike he could abuse his power over you, then thatll work. Hes a stronger immortal than you. Preying on you especially when you belong to Jerome, so to speak is a big no-no. You would be justified in protecting yourself. But, if you attack wantonly, youll get in trouble from the powers that be for targeting other immortals. Youll as well get us in trouble for arming you.This sounds anatomy of like entrapment.Thats an ugly word. permits just check it in terms of self-defense.So, you figure things are spillage to get rough enough that Ill actually need self-defense?He hesitated. I dont know. I just dont know.Yeah, just now then, if this guys perfectly nice and just sells me a stash of ambrosia, I cant do anything? Weve cadaveric the trip?Like I verbalize, I dont know. Really. But honestlyif theyre making it this uncomplicated to find him, I have to t hink something weird is going on. Just be careful, okay? His face was all seriousness now. Youre smart. You can pull this off.And I dont suppose, at any point in this, youre going to tell me who this guy actually is?I believe ignorance is bliss.I threw my hands up, not knowing what else to say. Carter traded a few more jokes with me and then rose to go. Hesitating, he gave me a curious look.You sure you dont want to talk? Youve obviously got something bugging you. I do. But Ive got to hand with it on my own.Fair enough. See ya. An eyeblink later, the nonesuch disappeared.Seth confronted up about an minute of arc later, a little blue keystone smudged on his face. Terry and Andrea are motion-picture show the kitchen now.I smiled at him, swallowing all the turbulent emotions within me. How can you get so messy when you dont even do the painting?I embed a white and dabbed at his face in a fruitless effort to clean him up. stand up so close, I suddenly had a flashback to last night. His hands stroking my breasts. face him inside of me, filling me up. Our bodies moving together. His lips function slightly when he came.It wont come off, I said abruptly, jerking away.Oh. Okay.I stayed sour and silent for the rest of the night, stiff and conflicting at any sort of touching. Seth picked up on the vibe right away and let me have my space. We walked a few blocks down the street to a theater that only showed Oscar nominees and artsy, independent films. We apothegm one of the latter, and I have to admit, it did slay my mind off my love life, if only for two hours.Sitting at an Italian restaurant afterward, I let him soak up me into a discussion of the films merits. It amazed me that my let the cat out of the bag could keep up with the conversation fleck the rest of me was in an entirely incompatible world.Over and over, I replayed what had happened last night and not just the sex part. I analyzed everything, the events that had led up to it. Why had I done it? What had made me give in? Had it really been an altruistic attempt to submit Seth and me by removing the temptation? Had it been an aching trust to take comfort in Bastien? Or, most likely, had it been something selfish on my part? A burning desire to touch what I wasnt supposed to have not because it might help our relationship, barely because I just wanted to do it. I had wanted that pleasure. I had desire his body and simply gave in to the hedonism I longed for. I was a creature of hell, after all. I had observed before that we werent on the nose known for our self-control.Yet none of that changed the fact that it had happened. It had happened, and I had to do something about it. Ordid I?Seth sat across from me, looking happy and content as we talked. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes. I mentation back to the lists. If he never found out, the truth couldnt hurt him. We could go on as we had. The only problem would be that I knew the truth. I had to live with t his betrayal, not only of our physical relationship but also of our attempts at honesty and openness. wholeness more entry on the list of dark and nasty secrets I already kept.You with me, Thetis? he asked suddenly.Huh?He gave me a small, lovable smile and moved his hand over to hold mine. I squeezed it back. You look like youre miles away. I gave him a half-smile in return. simply I wasnt as subtle as I opinion. I looked at him, perusing those beloved features, and shook my head. I couldnt do it. I couldnt tell him. Not yet.Just tired, I lied.We shared a old bag of gelato and then returned to my apartment. We had just set up the Scrabble board when I felt immortal signatures approaching.I groaned, not deficient to deal with this. Hail, hail, the gangs all here.Seth looked nonplus until we heard the knock at the door. I opened it, letting in Hugh, Peter, Cody, and Bastien.You are alive, said Peter cheerfully, smothering me in a hug. We tried calling you tonight.And Ive been trying to get a hold of you all day, added Bastien pointedly.I was perfectly informed that he had called me many times. I had purposely not answered my phone.Sorry, I said to all of them.Hey, Seth, said Cody, clapping the writer on the back. The vampire and the rest of the immortals spread themselves out around my living room like they lived there. I gave their giggling and careless behavior a wasting away glance.You guys been barhopping?Yup, said Hugh with pride. You both of you could have linked us.Fortunately, the night is still young, declared Bastien. He strolled around the living room, arching an scandalize eyebrow at the Scrabble board. When you didnt answer, we distinct to come issue an invitation in person.Were going to go shoot pool, explained Cody happily. Over at that place in Belltown. You guys should come along. He gave Seth a conspiratorial grin. Georginas a wicked pool player.Thetis is good at everything, Seth murmured automatically. I could tell by his body l anguage he wasnt lucky with a bunch of drunkarden immortals in the room. I also knew he didnt want to go out.Sorry, guys, I told them. Weve already been out. Were staying in.This get snide remarks and groans of disapproval.Oh come on, begged Hugh, trying to get Aubreys attention with a cat fiddle on a string. She didnt fall for it and hissed at him instead. We always get better assistance when you go with us.Besides, said Bastien nastily. It doesnt look youre doing anything else exciting. You should be grateful we came along. Were giving you something. Something you couldnt otherwise get.I remained calm, but I think the others picked up on the sudden tension in the air. Sorry, I repeated. Were staying in. You guys can hang out for a little bit, but then Ive got to kick you out. Were doing our own thing. I wasnt aware you guys did anything at all, muttered Bastien in a voice only I heard. peradventure the vampires too, with their godlike hearing.You got anything to drink? aske d Peter, gently nudging me toward being a good hostess.I was still locked in a battle of wills and eye amour with the pack. Yeah, I just bought a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice.Oh, said Cody. Score.He and Hugh raided my refrigerator, passing out bottles of prissy malted beverage to everyone shut out Seth and me. We abstained. Lounging around, conversation on freewheeling topics soon ensued, although Bastien, Seth, and I did not participate. Seth stayed noneffervescent because he always stayed repose in such settings. Bastien and I stayed quiet because we were pissed off at distributively other.I excused myself for the restroom and found Bastien waiting outside the door for me when I finished.Alcohol runs right through you, huh? I asked, pushing past him.He stop my way, backing me up against the wall.What the hells wrong with you? he demanded in a low voice.Nothing. Let me go.Bullshit. I left you like a hundred messages. Youre avoiding me.So? Its my prerogative. Just like that son g.He snorted. Let me guess. Youre having some sort of melodramatic moral crisis over what happened last night. Thats so typical of you lately.Dont talk to me about last night. You shouldnt have done what you did.Is houldnt have? My God, Fleur ,dont act like youre the victim here. aught forced you. You more than consented. In fact, I daresay you enjoyed it.It was a mistake.And so avoiding me is going to fix it? Dont delude yourself. It wasnt a mistake. It was good for you. I helped you. I gave you something you would have never gotten otherwise. Youll think up it for the rest of your life.Gee, I said, dripping sarcasm. How lovely of you. Because thats really all there was to it, wasnt there? You only did it to help me. Nothing more. You for sure didnt do it just because you could. Because I was charming and I was wonderful and you wanted me. bear in mind to me No. You listen to me. If I want to avoid you, let me avoid you. Dont show up at my house drunk and try to force your w ay into a dialogue. It makes you more of an asshole than youd be otherwise. I dont want to talk to you. Not anytime soon. maybe not ever.Forevers a long time. He leaned closer, one hand on my arm. Dont you think youre overreacting to one fuck? Besides, you cant cut me off. Youve got to help me with Dana.No, I declared icily. I do not. Youre on your own with that. And if you get sent to Guam, then its your own fucking fault. Maybe itll give you some time to think about your relations with women outside of business. red cent it Georgina?We both turned and saw Seth standing in the hallway. Bastien and I were close too close but not romantically close. Anyone with half a brain could tell we were locked in a dispute. Our postures radiated it, as did our expressions. The grip Bastien held on my arm was not friendly.Are you okay? Seth asked carefully. His delivery came out low and measured, but I saw something unfamiliar in his expression. Not anger, but something else kindling in his eyes. He had told me at once he chose his battles carefully, and I wondered then what he would do if he thought the incubus was a real threat to me.Were fine, I said. I broke from Bastiens grasp, and he didnt fight it.Yes, he agreed with a cold smile. Were fine.He walked past me but stopped when he was even with Seth.You should be flattered, Bastien told him. Most women invoke God during sex, but Fleur yells your name. One would have thought you were a deity, considering how many times she paid allegiance to you last night.He continued on to the living room, and I didnt even baffle around to see Seths reaction. I stormed after Bastien.Get out, I told him. I looked over at the other immortals. All of you, get out now.Peter, Cody, and Hugh stared at me in astonishment. Id kicked them out a number of times, but none of them had ever heard me use this voice on them. Consequently, they heeded it. They scrambled out the door in under a minute, Bastien guess me a dark glance as he lef t.When they were gone, I took a full-bodied breath and turned to Seth. Anger and discouragement boiled inside of me.Let me guess. You want to know what he meant.His face was unreadable. Honestly, I dont know. He suddenly sounded tired. I dont know if I want to.Yeah, well, Ill tell you anyway.The spoken communication tore at me term approach shot out, but I really didnt want to hold onto the secret anymore. Not only because Bastien had given it away but also because I knew I wasnt going to be able to stand having it fester inside of me. It hurt too much. Talking to the incubus had made me realize that.So while I didnt mention the pictures, I told Seth everything else. Everything.When I finished, he didnt say anything. He stared at some nonexistent tell in the air, face blank once more. After a couple of minutes of aching silence, he finally turned back to me.So. How was I?